Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Turmoil (The Maternal Sort)

My mother has always been reservedly negative about my career choice. But since I've recently explained my plans for moving to Vancouver, she has expressed to me just how much she really hates what I've done with my life. She revealed how she felt poker has made me depressed, drink too much, lose all my girlfriends and now move away from my family*. It's one of the hardest things I've had to do as a son. Seeing the look of disappointment in your mother's eyes is rather soul crushing. I've had a countless number of people criticize me for playing poker for a living, but as an independent confident spirit it never really phased me. It's such a beautiful game and I love every minute I am fortunate enough to play it. But when your mother really thinks you are wasting your life it sucks. I still don't feel like I have much of a grasp on how a career really defines a person and to what degree. It's funny how often we fight our parents' wisdom and advice only to look back years later and see how wrong we really were. I am just not sure this is one of those spots.

*footnote: I was really only super down and out in early 2008 and it mostly stemmed from being single for 7 years and an internal turmoil resulting from such complete early independence in my adult life [just partially resulting from poker]. I've always loved alcohol since I had my first drink long before poker. It's in my blood. Going out and drinking with friends is one of my favorite social activities. I never turn to alcohol as a result of feeling depressed. I am aware of the dangers of it getting out of hand and spend considerable efforts maintaining it at a moderate level [45 drinks a month]. The relationship deal is tricky. It's pretty tough to pinpoint exactly the reasons my last two fell apart. Long story short I'd blame poker about 8%. I will not argue though that poker does tend to keep many ladies at bay. Sometimes for the better, but mostly to a disadvantage. My mother was right about poker being the direct cause of me moving away from my family, but jobs require this all the time. It is kind of unfair to blame such a flexible job for what will most likely be a short term leave.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Do Something

So I have been pretty unhappy with the sedentary pace my life has been going the past few months. I was originally going to wait until the end of the year to move out of the country, but at this point the idea of leaving is very exciting. I am 95% sure I will be trying to move to Vancouver very soon. The only obstacle is if I can feasibly bring my dog really. Hopefully I can find someone to take care of him here for a while or get a pet friendly apt in Canada and drive up there. All the research I did pointed at having to do a 6 month tourist visa. After that I'll either have to manage a work visa somehow or marry someone up there. Also the likelihood of playing in US ought to be clearer by then. I can't wait to start making some money again and move on with my life.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Last One

I am going to take a music and starcraft hiatus. I hope you like this last song I will be posting (Shafer did the beat):

Saturday, September 3, 2011