My mother has always been reservedly negative about my career choice. But since I've recently explained my plans for moving to Vancouver, she has expressed to me just how much she really hates what I've done with my life. She revealed how she felt poker has made me depressed, drink too much, lose all my girlfriends and now move away from my family*. It's one of the hardest things I've had to do as a son. Seeing the look of disappointment in your mother's eyes is rather soul crushing. I've had a countless number of people criticize me for playing poker for a living, but as an independent confident spirit it never really phased me. It's such a beautiful game and I love every minute I am fortunate enough to play it. But when your mother really thinks you are wasting your life it sucks. I still don't feel like I have much of a grasp on how a career really defines a person and to what degree. It's funny how often we fight our parents' wisdom and advice only to look back years later and see how wrong we really were. I am just not sure this is one of those spots.
*footnote: I was really only super down and out in early 2008 and it mostly stemmed from being single for 7 years and an internal turmoil resulting from such complete early independence in my adult life [just partially resulting from poker]. I've always loved alcohol since I had my first drink long before poker. It's in my blood. Going out and drinking with friends is one of my favorite social activities. I never turn to alcohol as a result of feeling depressed. I am aware of the dangers of it getting out of hand and spend considerable efforts maintaining it at a moderate level [45 drinks a month]. The relationship deal is tricky. It's pretty tough to pinpoint exactly the reasons my last two fell apart. Long story short I'd blame poker about 8%. I will not argue though that poker does tend to keep many ladies at bay. Sometimes for the better, but mostly to a disadvantage. My mother was right about poker being the direct cause of me moving away from my family, but jobs require this all the time. It is kind of unfair to blame such a flexible job for what will most likely be a short term leave.
2 comments:
Hi man,
it all is about the money, isnt it?
If you are good enough to already have / soon have your millions in the bank, wtf are people talking about. You did all right.
If that isnt any realistic for you... well ur mum is kind of right I fear.
Future, getting old, feed the children and all this boring shit sadly is the key.
hellblood, it is certainly about the money, but i would argue the gambler just has it in him, and it's about so much more. don't be so short-sighted.
love the post. just have to say—it's "fazed," not "phased."
j
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