Because Porn Is More Interesting Than Me Losing at Poker...

Cliche Advise

I was told to reach for the stars and my hopes and dreams fell faster than Icarus.









{a link for the mythologically inept}

Pics From Beach

Titles Are for Champions

i hate poker i hate poker i hate poeker i hate poker io hate poker i hate poejr i hater pler i ha ter poker i ha te poker i hate plker i anet pokaer o ajtepkker i jaetpoe kera i hate poerker ihe atpke tapo eai heatpojearp euih atpoekreap ih atepoaeorj apoihat eaprok i hatepokerap i hatep eroapej i ihate poker -aije tapoer aerkjkejrkejrkejrkejr i hate pojker i hate ojekr i haveptk fheirjeakf i hate pokja i havet pothkf i hateao epfoi hatea ppojekr i haterp jhkl p i ahjk tetjk i hate poihjk eri h hiahte pohk ih aterp ihk i hate pihk pih arepo hk i hateopo hnk i hate pojker i hhate pokjker ih aeth pojer ih atpjker hih atepojker ih atpoker ih atpoker ih atepojekr poetaehraekrpo eatpoea i hate poker

"No One Is Donating..." -Moon

ibinevrywerman posts the small blind of $0.50
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [9c 9d]
ibinevrywerman calls $0.50
gamblegambel raises to $4.40
ibinevrywerman calls $3.40
*** FLOP *** [4h 6h 4s]
gamblegambel bets $7
{he will fold his big ace to this raise}
ibinevrywerman raises to $21
gamblegambel raises to $102.35, and is all in
{ahhhhhh fuck it, I call}
ibinevrywerman calls $48.40, and is all in
gamblegambel shows [9c 9d]
ibinevrywerman shows [7d 8s]
Uncalled bet of $32.95 returned to gamblegambel
*** TURN *** [4h 6h 4s] [Kc]
*** RIVER *** [4h 6h 4s Kc] [7s]
gamblegambel shows two pair, Nines and Fours
ibinevrywerman shows two pair, Sevens and Fours
gamblegambel wins the pot ($147.10) with two pair, Nines and Fours

A Challenging Where's Waldo

Difficulty: Expert (allot ten minutes to solve)

[hint: top right corner]

Classic Quote from CoolBoy14

{post game chat after a narrow Coolboy14 victory}
"You know what?
I don't even play protoss!"
CoolBoy14 leaves

This Might Make Me a Weirdo But...

I like to smoke a cigar and pretend that I am making important decisions about World War II.

Patchell's Razor

If you only gamble with half of your bankroll at a time, you will never go bust.

Virtual Battle

I am a pretty observant person and I have noticed a lot of my close friends repeatedly asking themselves this same question; so I will make it a personal goal of mine to answer it as accurately as possible in this blog posting... Who would win in a UFC cage fight - the late 90's day trader or the present day internet poker player???

Agility

Advantage to the internet poker player no doubt. An upbringing of Starcraft, Warcraft, and Dune has our mouse speed off the charts. It is going to be tough to get a jab in on the generation who grew up on reaction-time developing video games.


Technique

Advantage late 90's day trader here. Those extra years on earth are invaluable when it comes to long term decision making and short term goals. A well paced fighter puts himself in a position to get lucky.

Stamina

Pretty close tie here. A few years of an idle existence in front of a computer screen will leave even the fittest of high school athletes puffing for any hope of oxygen 15 seconds into a heated fight.

Mental Strength

Advantage late 90's day trader on this one. You'd be surprised how motivated a man can get when he has a wife and kids to feed at home. While on the other hand, the internet poker player can be quite the unstable being at times.

Late Round Comeback (Clutch)

The internet poker player with a clear edge here. Training nearly every day to make those last minute decisions under pressure for the win. It is in our to blood to instinctively know when you have to put it alllll on the line.


I'd set the odds at 5:3 in favor of internet poker player

Art de Ora

Somehow over the years I've managed to forget how fun it is to chew on the end of one's straw.

The Unstoppable Co-Co-Co

Frank_Yellow posts the small blind of $5
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [6s 5s]
Frank_Yellow raises to $30
TheMasterJ: Standard BB protect.
gamblegambel calls $20
*** FLOP *** [7s 3d 5d]
gamblegambel checks
Frank_Yellow bets $50
Hostile1: Easy call.
gamblegambel calls $50
*** TURN *** [7s 3d 5d] [5c]
GambleGambel: We've been check calling weak leading the turn all day with weak hands, let's trap him with aggression.
gamblegambel bets $100
Frank_Yellow raises to $280
Hostile1: Shove.
GambleGambel: Min raise.
gamblegambel has 15 seconds left to act
TheMasterJ: Shove.
gamblegambel raises to $1,109, and is all in
Frank_Yellow folds
GambleGambel: We should have min raised.
Uncalled bet of $829 returned to gamblegambel
gamblegambel mucks
gamblegambel wins the pot ($719.50)

JarleAA posts the small blind of $5
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Kc Qh]
JarleAA raises to $30
Hostile1: Reraise this.
TheMasterJ: Do it.
gamblegambel raises to $111
JarleAA calls $81
*** FLOP *** [Th 4d Kh]
gamblegambel bets $156
JarleAA raises to $380
GambleGambel: What is that?
Hostile1: Shove this.
TheMasterJ: Do it.
gamblegambel raises to $1,038, and is all in
JarleAA folds
Uncalled bet of $658 returned to gamblegambel
gamblegambel mucks
gamblegambel wins the pot ($981.50)

in68824 posts the small blind of $5
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Ah Jh]
reddamien folds
I101 raises to $35
in68824 folds
gamblegambel calls $25
*** FLOP *** [8c 8h 7s]
gamblegambel checks
I101 bets $55
Hostile1: Call this.
TheMasterJ: I like it.
gamblegambel calls $55
*** TURN *** [8c 8h 7s] [Td]
gamblegambel checks
I101 bets $155
GambleGambel: Min raise this.
Hostile1: I like it.
gamblegambel raises to $310
I101 has 15 seconds left to act
I101 calls $155
*** RIVER *** [8c 8h 7s Td] [Qd]
TheMasterJ: Value bet bluff this.
GambleGambel: I like it.
gamblegambel bets $450
I101 has 15 seconds left to act
I101 adds $208
I101 folds
Uncalled bet of $450 returned to gamblegambel
gamblegambel shows [Ah Jh] (a pair of Eights)
gamblegambel wins the pot ($803)

GambleGambel: Ok guys, I have to go walk the dog for five minutes. Frank is easy money, just play small pots with him and you ought to be able to push him around; just don't do anything stupid.

gamblegambel posts the small blind of $5
Frank_Yellow posts the big blind of $10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Td Qc]
gamblegambel raises to $30
Frank_Yellow raises to $90
Hostile1: Let's three bet here.
TheMasterJ: Hahahahaha.
TheMasterJ: ...
gamblegambel has 15 seconds left to act
TheMasterJ: Well, we haven't three bet hardly - do it.
gamblegambel raises to $275
Frank_Yellow calls $185
*** FLOP *** [9d Kd 8c]
Frank_Yellow checks
TheMasterJ: Bet?
Hostile1: Shove?
TheMasterJ: He could be on AQ.
Hostile1: He doesn't have AK, he would have shoved that pre.
TheMasterJ: He can only really call this with aces.
Hostile1: I agree, let's ship it in.
gamblegambel bets $2,863, and is all in
Frank_Yellow calls $866.50, and is all in
gamblegambel shows [Td Qc]
Frank_Yellow shows [Ad As]
Uncalled bet of $1,996.50 returned to gamblegambel
*** TURN *** [9d Kd 8c] [2h]
*** RIVER *** [9d Kd 8c 2h] [Jc]
gamblegambel shows a straight, King high
Frank_Yellow shows a pair of Aces
gamblegambel wins the pot ($2,282.50) with a straight, King high
Frank_Yellow is sitting out

Pepperoni Pizza Pi

{a tasty beverage to help wash it down?}

Rolling on Empty

I am heading out in a few hours to New Orleans with the Hostile1 and Billy the bowler. Slightly stressed and strained I dream of a big score that would put my mind at rest. In my brief moments of clairvoyance I've learned to embrace the stress of life's challenges and redirect that energy into the focus that sparked my peers to have overwhelming confidence in the potential of GambleGambel's abilities and AKoChainsaw3's likelihood of success.

"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Melt Banana

If a degenerate gambler is siphoning off his bankroll in his condo with no one around is he still on tilt?

Sometimes the Bar Eats You (me)

I am done with poker. I can no longer handle it emotionally or finacialy. I have failed as a high stakes world class tournament pro. I have failed as a low stakes worthless low life grinder. My step father's brother tragically took his own life two days ago. I was asked by the family to play piano at the funeral service tomorrow. There is much to mourn.

Enigmatic Solution

Even before the renegade pirates of the giant spaceship Thunder had collected all five of the rings that would eliminate the threat of Master System forever, Hawks knew that they still faced even greater problems.

The shapechanger, Vulture, was lost on the watery planet of Chanchuk, his fate unknown. Master System's space fleet dogged the renegades' every step. Hawks suspected that the group was harboring a traitor, but he was powerless to act. And, most important, the rebels had not yet figured out how the rings were used--a riddle that seemed to have no solution!

Somewhere back on Earth lay the original computer interface, and somewhere in the distant past lay the secret to Master System's demise. As an historian, Hawks had the knowledge to solve the riddle; yet he had to be absolutely sure--for one misstep would destroy them all.

Late Night Drinking SHIPPPPPPP

Seat 1: NemoStars22 ($532.50)
Seat 2: gamblegambel ($539.50)
NemoStars22 posts the small blind of $1
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Ac Qc]
NemoStars22 raises to $6
gamblegambel raises to $22
NemoStars22 calls $16
*** FLOP *** [5d 4s Jh]
gamblegambel checks
NemoStars22 checks
*** TURN *** [5d 4s Jh] [7s]
gamblegambel checks
NemoStars22 bets $44
gamblegambel calls $44
*** RIVER *** [5d 4s Jh 7s] [5s]
gamblegambel bets $100
{hey honey, come watch me outplay this internet douche}
NemoStars22 raises to $200
{ummm, no dude, I invented the min raise river bluff}
[btw-how strong does this look!?!?]
gamblegambel raises to $473.50, and is all in
NemoStars22 folds
Uncalled bet of $273.50 returned to gamblegambel
gamblegambel mucks
gamblegambel wins the pot ($531.50)

"No One Is Donating..." -Moon

KKBigDawwg69: posts small blind $3
niknim: posts big blind $6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KKBigDawwg69 [7d 6d]
sjfried: folds
1thekid: folds
EPiPeN11: folds
INTREPID FOX: folds
cheo001: folds
capaneo: raises $18 to $24
KKBigDawwg69: calls $21
niknim: folds
*** FLOP *** [7h 7s Kc]
KKBigDawwg69: checks
capaneo: bets $30
KKBigDawwg69: raises $72 to $102
capaneo: raises $1076.80 to $1178.80 and is all-in
KKBigDawwg69: calls $1076.80
*** TURN *** [7h 7s Kc] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [7h 7s Kc 3s] [2s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
KKBigDawwg69: shows [7d 6d] (three of a kind, Sevens)
capaneo: mucks hand
KKBigDawwg69 collected $2408.60 from pot
Seat 7: capaneo (button) mucked [8d 9c]

I Wonder if Dog Owners Are Less Likely to Commit Suicide

Like a rusty saw lain dormant on the top shelf; I feel like a useless being.

Two Good Bluffs Gone Bad?

Parky 32: posts small blind $5
tunnny: posts big blind $10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KKBigDawwg69 [Td As]
SobraoBoY: folds
JMoney500: folds
darbour21: folds
Alaton: folds
KKBigDawwg69: raises $20 to $30
amatos: raises $70 to $100
(this guy loves to reraise big cards - he usually goes bigger with pairs)
Parky 32: folds
tunnny: folds
KKBigDawwg69: raises $180 to $280
(I am looking to take down the pot here if he is just bullshitting or get out of way if he has a beast)
amatos: calls $180
(he would have shipped it in with an AA {probably} KK AK {definately}, so I know he is most likely on AQ AJ KQ JQ KJ JJ QQ)
*** FLOP *** [3c 6c Tc]
[he has to fold about 67% of his range here and I am 50% with some of the rest of his range]
KKBigDawwg69: bets $1250
amatos: calls $868 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [3c 6c Tc] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [3c 6c Tc Ad] [6d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
KKBigDawwg69: shows [Td As] (two pair, Aces and Tens)
amatos: shows [Ac Qc] (a flush, Ace high)
amatos collected $2308 from pot
- he slow rolled that flop like an ass -

vinnybstgk: posts small blind $5
HaveMyCash: posts big blind $10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KKBigDawwg69 [3h 3c]
longdong1972: folds
Slayer24: folds
TKFROG: raises $25 to $35
BarbarianX: folds
SpaGMumP: folds
KKBigDawwg69: calls $35
vinnybstgk: folds
HaveMyCash: folds
*** FLOP *** [4c 8s Qh]
TKFROG: bets $55
KKBigDawwg69: calls $55
*** TURN *** [4c 8s Qh] [8d]
TKFROG: checks
KKBigDawwg69: bets $120
{figured was a great flop for the float, haven't played with him too long, but assumed he slows down -check folds- with missed big cards and fires against with the goods}
TKFROG: raises $200 to $320
{ok, this is a bullshit feeler raise with a weak hand or a take it down right here stab with absolute garbage}
KKBigDawwg69: raises $1230 to $1550 and is all-in
TKFROG: calls $545.25 and is all-in
*** RIVER *** [4c 8s Qh 8d] [Kd]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
TKFROG: shows [Qd 9d] (two pair, Queens and Eights)
{ok, I swear, no more bluffing retards/WHAT WAS HE BEATING?}
KKBigDawwg69: mucks hand
TKFROG collected $1922.50 from pot

Justice

A fifteen foot pole needs to be shoved up the asshole of the man who invented the mail-in rebate.








(rough sketch of the jerkface)

Top Four Bad Beats from MasterJ's Visit

My car got towed when we parked at the IHOP in Buckhead for a comedy show - cost 20 minutes of our time and a 120 dollar fine.

After playing wild and losing a lot of coin flips and 65/35s Master got it all in preflop at DanJew2's 1/2NL live game with AA against Seth's QQ - that beat cost J 650 bucks and his sanity.

I managed to come down with some sort of stomach flu last week and threw up a few times - cost me to miss out on some sleep, miss out on a night of drinking, and miss placed a smoothie in Ethan's back seat.

Master got it all in online on the turn with 88 against JT (at 10/20NL) on an 88TT board, you can guess the river card - cost MasterJ a 5k pot.