I Tried to Make this Post a Comic - Wasn't Too Funny

I wish while I was growing up they had some sort of 'learn what you want in life' video game. Instead my squandered childhood years have left me with impeccable eye-hand coordination, superb game theory, and an underdeveloped cerebral capacity for desire. A particular childhood conversation comes to mind. It was in the third grade when they made us all take I.Q. tests; I managed to do exceptionally well and had some of the highest scores my elementary school had ever seen. One afternoon during lunchtime I have this vivid recollection of my teacher Mrs. Michos taking me for a walk, during which she asked me, "if you could do study and research on anything you wanted, what would you pick?" and I replied, "I don't know, hamburgers". I can only imagine now what was going threw her head at the time ~ This little trouble making smart ass is supposed to be brilliant? Well, it's fifteen years later... I kick ass at NBA Jam and have no clue what I want to do with my life.

That's the Whirlwind Buddy

That Doesn't Make Any Sense

Low on Antes

Tough Luck

You Can't Teach Me a God Damn Thing Cause I Watch T.V. and Comcast Cable and You Ain't Able to Stop These Thoughts

this is me writing a blog entry after three Belgian beers

I Hate My Job #10

I Hate My Job #9

(click to enlarge)

Coach Goes on a Hot Streak

I Hate My Job #8

Gambler's Inferno

Come on a journey with us as we find justice being served
out to those who wronged the game...

(click to enlarge)

You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings

I love you guys and you guys seem to be loving my comics. I have some really cool new ideas I am working on. I am trying to put some more effort into drawings et al. Will have some good time to sit down and write while I travel back to ATL today. By the way, if you ever want to play in a juicy/hilarious 1/2nl cash game there is one Mondays at MVP in the Bronx - you will not be let down.

Jason Runs Cold

I Hate My Job #7

(click to enlarge)

I Hate My Job (possible comic strip title - what do you think?) #6

(click to enlarge)

My Fif Poker Comic Strip

A Word Is Worth One Thousandth of a Picture

Best word to describe the past week of my life: bender

Coach Pwns Blackjack

My Fourth Poker Comic Strip

(click to enlarge)

My Third Poker Comic Strip

(click to enlarge)

Some Amusing Google Searches that Led People to this Blog...

{I didn't realize that I used such vulgar language...}

amusing google searches for niggas
jewfro thigh lesson ethics that doesn't make any god damn sense!
pizza in the morning
i crank it everyday
how to control a jew-fro
nigga on tilt
toph foot job ...what the?
fucking makin
fucking hoe
i hate my fucking job!!!! me too!!!!

My Second Poker Comic Strip

(click to enlarge)

"No One Is Donating..." -Moon

(funny hand...)
gamblegambel posts the small blind of $3
SamuelL_Jackson posts the big blind of $6
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Jc Jd]
01281980 calls $6
GSW4life folds
aline2Wber folds
Bart1121 calls $6
gamblegambel raises to $115, and is all in
SamuelL_Jackson folds
01281980 calls $109 INSTACALL
Bart1121 folds
gamblegambel shows [Jc Jd]
01281980 shows [5h Jh]
*** FLOP *** [7c Ac Kd]
*** TURN *** [7c Ac Kd] [Qh]
*** RIVER *** [7c Ac Kd Qh] [7d]
gamblegambel shows two pair, Jacks and Sevens
01281980 shows a pair of Sevens
gamblegambel wins the pot ($239) with two pair, Jacks and Sevens

(funny video...)

My First Poker Comic Strip

(click to enlarge)

Brown Paper Bag Money

My winning streak is over (finished at 20 to tie my old streak)
I hate my job
I feel like playing video games until my fingers bleed
I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic
I can't tell if that dull pain is my soul rotting or from drinking too much orange juice
This is funny...

If You're Too Careful, Your Whole Life Can Become a Fucking Coin Flip

Standard WCOOP(#5) showing...

Viking79: posts small blind 150
GoldStrike: posts big blind 300
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KKBigDawwg69 [Ks Ah]
freeliving: folds
RitchyQC2004: folds
Hikkespett: folds
Skippio22: folds
Rattled77: folds
KKBigDawwg69: raises 475 to 775
kingkai: raises 1325 to 2100
Viking79: folds
GoldStrike: folds
KKBigDawwg69: raises 8700 to 10800 and is all-in
Viking79 has returned
kingkai: calls 8700
*** FLOP *** [2h 6s 9s]
*** TURN *** [2h 6s 9s] [3c]
*** RIVER *** [2h 6s 9s 3c] [6h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
KKBigDawwg69: shows [Ks Ah] (a pair of Sixes)
kingkai: shows [Qh Qc] (two pair, Queens and Sixes)
kingkai collected 22050 from pot

Deep in the million on FT...

richisnic posts the small blind of 800
orcwiz posts the big blind of 1,600
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [3s 3c]
HoytCorkins5 folds
GenRELee folds
mick the hoon folds
gamblegambel raises to 16,154, and is all in
Bripe21 raises to 55,090, and is all in
slaskovic folds
richisnic folds
orcwiz folds
Bripe21 shows [Ac Js]
gamblegambel shows [3s 3c]
*** FLOP *** [Jd Th 5s]
*** TURN *** [Jd Th 5s] [9h]
*** RIVER *** [Jd Th 5s 9h] [4s]
Bripe21 shows a pair of Jacks
gamblegambel shows a pair of Threes
Bripe21 wins the pot (36,308) with a pair of Jacks
gamblegambel stands up

The Do's and Do Not Do's of Sunday Tourney Warm Ups

Do: Eat breakfast. (I know you are a degen and waking up before 4:30pm est. is tough)
Do Not Do: More than 7 shots of crown royal the night before.
Do: Light exercise and stretching.
Do Not Do: Play cash games on bodog. (100% chance of tilt - not good odds)
Do: Limit AIM chat and turn off cell phones; I've lost so much money from talking on phone while playing.
Do Not Do: Play on borrowed or intermittent internet service - very tilt inducing.
Do: Check my blog. (I give some good advice on tourney warm ups)

Some Things I Want to Do While in NYC

• Play good games
• Drink good beer
• Eat good food
• Visit good friends
• Squeeze in some WCOOP events
  

Jinx

Well, I've done it again. I've tied my personal record today with 20 consecutive winning online cash game sessions. Bad news: I feel like I suck at everything poker related besides short stacking. Good news: I feel like I may be the best short stacker on full tilt - I even took down groundhog today [gold jersey and all].

By the Numbers
Days - 19
Hands - 11,902
Most popular limit - 400nl
Most profitable limit - 2000nl (up 4k in 400 hands) standard
Hours - 31
Profits - 9876

NEARLY EVEN ON THE YEAR... BOOYAH GRANDMA!

Glossary

Chasing Loses - If you run cold enough you build up what is called 'level of due' and when this is large enough you should probably sit way above your means and gamble your way back into profits.

Degen - Do you sleep late? Do you often forget to shower? Do you chase loses? Do you eat out solely to play credit card roulette? Is your screen name crapshooters? Do you look like this?

F'd in the A - Lasting pains in the bum; happens to the best of us.

Permatilt - Characterized by waking up by means of throwing things across the bedroom and going to sleep muttering obscenities day in and day out.

Playing for Stackems - A willingness to get all your chips in the middle with a particular hand. [partly stolen from themasterj33 who coined 'playing for stacks']

Pi - Traditionally thought to be the proportion between the diameter of a circle to it's circumference. Traditionalists are mistaken, for he is a world class rail bird that is ripe for puns.

Turbo Hundo - Nightly hundred dollar speed tournament; a real degen haven.

Not Sure Which Is More Repulsive

Life Sucks Is Funny

/// Lately I feel as if I have taken an 18 6 month journey through the deepest of woodlands for the sole purpose of {internal} reflection. Ironically it's merely a degen meditating on concrete flooring and bowling alone. Nonetheless, self discovery is imminent. Status quo has become the long shot. And change is "due" to spark up something (most likely fierce). And... as I sit atop the fences of life... I will have to summon complete courage and hospitality with which to embrace ethereal reconstruction. ///

Some Amusing Google Searches that Led People to this Blog...

i dont want no cake on my birthday
my bankroll
weak tite
dwigt do it to me one time
fucking nigga hoes as i see fit
hate my job need to leave
i hate my job and the people
i hate my job and want to die
i hate my birthday

All I Do Is Win

It's fine to say, "I really like kids"
It's not fine to say, "I really like 11 year olds"

Chip and a Chair

Seemingly Random Thoughts

• I am thinking of getting a part time job at a coffee shop
  
• I feel like my social life is nearly dead
• Short stacking poker two hours a day makes me that guy
• A part of me sorta enjoys catastrophes like 9-11
• The odds I get married sometime in my life hover between 40% and 80% depending on my mood
• I eat too many calories and don't exercise quite enough
• Blogging, video games, drawing, gambling, playing piano, golfing, traveling
• I do what I feel like
• I feel I don't do enough
• I am thinking of getting a part time job at a coffee shop
  

Wise Words from the Griffins

This Blog Just Doesn't Make Any Damn Sense

Yes I Crank It Everyday

You should be jealous because I have pretty much the coolest puppy dog ever.

It's All for You

Two of These World Class Performers Didn't Show Up on Sunday

Wise Words from Jon Benjamin

I Haven't Had the Butterflies Like This in a While

{I was chasing loses and woke up in 25/50}
Seat 1: Yachting49er ($5,000)
Seat 2: gamblegambel ($850)
Seat 3: Drewkamm ($11,514), is sitting out
Seat 4: ChrisChun ($5,486)
Seat 5: Urindanger ($5,000)
Seat 6: MSUsFinest ($2,023)
ChrisChun posts the small blind of $25
Urindanger posts the big blind of $50
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Kd Ah]
MSUsFinest folds
gamblegambel raises to $175
ChrisChun has 15 seconds left to act
ChrisChun folds
Urindanger has 15 seconds left to act
Urindanger raises to $5,000, and is all in
gamblegambel calls $675, and is all in
Urindanger shows [Ac 8d]
gamblegambel shows [Kd Ah]
Uncalled bet of $4,150 returned to Urindanger
*** FLOP *** [8c 9s Td]
*** TURN *** [8c 9s Td] [9d]
*** RIVER *** [8c 9s Td 9d] [Kh]
Urindanger shows two pair, Nines and Eights
gamblegambel shows two pair, Kings and Nines
gamblegambel wins the pot ($1,723) with two pair, Kings and Nines

[streak is still alive]

Come Play with Us

Fantasy POY Pwns Fantasy Football

1st - moon @ 21775
2nd - bag @ 17075
3rd - alex @ 12154
4th - gambler [it's me bitches] @ 10487
5th - wolf @ 8231

Drained and Spoiled

I woke up to find my cell phone in the bathroom sink and my chocolate milk on the living room floor; WTF!!!!

PS - I hate gambling

Just a Thought (Road Trip!)

Anyone want to come with me to try out for American Gladiators?

BROOKLYN, NY – Saturday, September 15th
10:00am – 3:00pm
PAERDEGAT ATHLETIC CLUB
Sports Field
1510 Paerdegat Ave. N
Brooklyn, NY 11236
www.paerdegat.com

In a Desperate Attempt to Make More Friends I Bought a PiPhone

Wise Words from Jon Benjamin

He's Heating Up

13 winning online cash game sessions in a row.

This Might Make Me a Weirdo But...

I had a dream last night that I was empathizing with my ex girlfriend about how boring it is to short stack ten handed cash games.

Can They Play the Short Stack Any Worse? [rhetorical question]

Streaming posts the small blind of $10
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [Kh Kc]
Ze_do_Caixao folds
dwballz raises to $70
amosa folds
Streaming folds
gamblegambel raises to $220
dwballz has 15 seconds left to act GET OFF OF ME!!!
dwballz raises to $670
gamblegambel calls $250, and is all in
dwballz shows [Ac Tc]
gamblegambel shows [Kh Kc]
*** FLOP *** [3s Js Jd]
*** TURN *** [3s Js Jd] [8d]
*** RIVER *** [3s Js Jd 8d] [5d]
dwballz shows a pair of Jacks
gamblegambel shows two pair, Kings and Jacks
gamblegambel wins the pot ($947) with two pair, Kings and Jacks

Thanks Haydog

Some Amusing Google Searches that Led People to this Blog...

it's cool on my tongue
matt viox poker
joel patchell, should he get a new job? ha ha ha
anaphora in poetry
useless analogies
i dont want cake on my birthday
i hate my husband's job

Metaphoric Truth

Chasing losses {particularly by moving up in limits during a session} is the crack cocaine of poker {particularly for the ex-big game player now middle stakes grinder}.

Wise Words from DanJew2

"Poker players don't have girlfriends; poker players have fancy cell phones."