Done Worrying

In the professional world of gambling mentality stability is a must; I feel mine is beginning to slip out of reach. I often find myself in wild mood swings, I go on tilt way more than I used to, I go into deep depressions where I wish to feel the victim of a cruel cruel world, I sometimes inflict physical pain unto myself for the sake of feeling something, I sometimes stare at myself in the mirror and then snap out of it only to realize hours have passed by, and I enjoy long walks in the park. I feel akin to the unemployed of the great depression. I relate to the feeling of rather jumping out the window than coming home to face one's family. I try to spend a majority of my time asleep because at least I can wake up from those dreams. Like a rotten banana my mind feels like mush and it's once bright yellow glow has faded into an unattractive blackness. Poker is an evil game.