I Hate My Job #41

I Hate My Job #40

Long Runway. Short Flight.

By nature I am a thinker. I have a hard time expressing and vocalizing my feelings to my family and closest friends. I probably reveal more of my deepest thoughts on this blog than in any personal conversation. This is probably way more frustrating than any of you can imagine. I continually find myself in pivotal situations in which my inability to properly communicate leaves me regretful and remorsefully ruminating and reliving these disappointments by myself through many a sleepless nights. It's emotional torture on the mind. I can anticipate and imagine how a conversation will play out in my mind ahead of time, but usually preparation lends itself towards anxiety instead of confidence. Occasionally these personal constraints will build up by means of synergism and leave me yearning for a life of solitude. I love hate my job.

Sometimes I Don't Know What I'm Thinking

VRHV2: posts small blind $25
alexeiartov: posts big blind $50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to KKBigDawwg69 [Td Tc]
Festvuss: folds
El iablo: folds
FITTS: folds
jelizmd: folds
MezmrizePLZ: folds
KKBigDawwg69: raises $100 to $150
VRHV2: calls $125
alexemartov: folds
*** FLOP *** [Qh 5c Kh]
VRHV2: checks
KKBigDawwg69: bets $250
VRHV2: calls $250
*** TURN *** [Qh 5c Kh] [3d]
VRHV2: checks
KKBigDawwg69: bets $672 and is all-in
VRHV2: calls $672
*** RIVER *** [Qh 5c Kh 3d] [Jh]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
VRHV2: shows [Kd 9d] (a pair of Kings)
KKBigDawwg69: mucks hand

I Hate My Job #39

Eat Up

I Feel Like a Fucking Loser and a Half

Poker has gone complete down the shitter and I am nearly bust again. All of my parents (both step and natural) think I don't care about them because I don't randomly call them to see how they are doing - it's just who I am and these things rarely change. I haven't had a girlfriend in 7 years. I am continually going to alcohol, food, and cigars to try and drown out the pain. I struggle to fall asleep before the sun rises. I am constantly on retarded ass banana monkey life tilt. All of my poker friends are having wild success while I drown in envy. I've been a shitty friend lately. I have no confidence. My keyboard broke. I am a degenerate low life. Internet porn sucks. My body is falling apart. My car isn't running well. I am getting dumber by the minute. My grandmother broke her hip. kla gta34jlt ajklsa lkja 34tl ;kja2 t;25JKL; J ;LKAf #K A3;K AF2 ;LA234TT;LK A23L;K A2R;LK AR;LK1 ;lk 1RZ SF;LK EFLKJ qlk QWEF;LKJ qwefq;lkjwER; 24tkjw;lkjwag'; ljQEL;Q#F;lq#f; Lfg';lkja w; R okWF;OJawevka evf" eG';LKJE FGqw;qfa'wer;lkfg sadgljasg;lkjawerg' ;aw34
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Enough Lies

I know after reading this blog loyally for a long time now you might feel that you know me pretty well, but I can't keep this charade up any longer. It's time for the truth. My name isn't really Joel Patchell and what you have been reading isn't my personal thoughts and life story. My real name is Shannon Shorr. I have all the proof you need right here:I am sorry for tricking y'all for so long. You can find my real blog here: http://shannonshorr.com/ the blog where I pretend to be me here: http://shannonshorr.blogspot.com/ and the blog where I pretend to be other people here: http://yougamble.blogspot.com/

It feels great to finally tell the truth and I hope I haven't hurt anyone with all this deception.

Sincerely,
Me

30 Reasons I Probably Will Get Married

1. I am intelligent
2. That's what the polls are saying
3. I make a decent amount of money for my age
4. I have a sense of humor
5. I have an Italian mother who really really wants grandchildren
6. I am more attractive than many other men
7. I have a kick ass dog
8. I have a kick ass car
9. I stay in good shape
10. I am loyal
11. I am still young
12. I have really awesome friends
13. I am creative
14. I am easy going
15. I don't have any STD's
16. When I really want something I know how to develop and bring my A-game
17. I tend to get really good advice on life
18. I have a flexible job/lifestyle
19. I am a pretty nice guy in general
20. I am open minded
21. I am patient
22. I have a loving family
23. I have a good memory
24. I have a lot of free time on my hands
25. No one wants to die alone
26. I find the idea of being a father before I die very appealing
27. I know how to cook
28. I am honest
29. I am not a convicted felon
    
30. Scotchy scotch scotch
    

Fuck 'Em Even If They're Celibate

As the United States is quietly slipping into an economic recession many economists are offering their advice. Some say the best thing to do is revamp the system and give tax cuts to promote business capital investment. Others suggest deficit spending by the government. Some say a laissez-faire approach is the best...

As the past few weeks have gone by my poker earnings have quietly slowed down and I am wondering what to do. Sometimes I think I need to step down in limits to slow down variance. Often I believe the best approach is to redevelop my game to try and fix some leaks. Occasionally I think the best thing to do is leave it all alone and everything will even out with time...

"I know that ain't fair, but I don't care. I'm a mother fuckin' cash money millionaire."
-Lil Wayne

My Name Is Noman

There is something about being nameless and faceless [anonymous] that tends to bring out the worst in people.

30 Reasons I Probably Won't Get Married

1. I gamble for a living
2. I am selfish
3. I am extremely picky
4. I am indecisive
5. I think all women are disloyal cheats
6. This blog
7. I am a slob
8. I don't wake up till 4pm
9. I stay up till 7am
10. I am passive
11. I don't know what I want
12. I am inexperienced
13. I am obsessive compulsive
14. I have poor communication skills
15. I often think of complements, but never say them
    
16. I am unconventional
17. I am shy
18. I am insecure
19. I haven't been clean shaven in years
20. I have bad first impressions
21. Most marriages I know don't seem to work
22. I get anxiety attacks
23. I often find myself stuck in the friend zone
24. I am clumsy
25. I have poor social skills
    
26. I would eventually ask for a prenup
27. I enjoy life on the road
28. I mostly keep my feelings to myself
29. Too often I am on mega life tilt
30. I am lazy

An Exercise in Superfluous Negatives

It isn't living if it never cries
It isn't rock climbing if you aren't bleeding
It isn't rap music if it isn't needlessly flashy
It isn't prostitution if you never get paid
and
It isn't poker if it your bankroll isn't at risk

True Genius

You can't run a blue flare past me - I know this move all too well...The Riparan posts the small blind of $25
gamblegambel posts the big blind of $50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gamblegambel [6d Ks]
Jomiakkus7 folds
Genius 28 has 15 seconds left to act
Genius 28 calls $50
The Riprian folds
gamblegambel checks
*** FLOP *** [6c 2s 5s]
gamblegambel checks
Genius 28 bets $50
gamblegambel calls $50
*** TURN *** [6c 2s 5s] [3h]
gamblegambel checks
Genius 28 has 15 seconds left to act
Genius 28 bets $100
gamblegambel calls $100
*** RIVER *** [6c 2s 5s 3h] [8s]
gamblegambel checks
Genius 28 bets $800
gamblegambel has 15 seconds left to act
gamblegambel has requested TIME I just don't think you got it...
gamblegambel calls $800, and is all in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Genius 28 shows [9s Qh] Queen Nine high
gamblegambel shows [6d Ks] a pair of Sixes
gamblegambel wins the pot ($2,023) with a pair of Sixes

An Exercise in Teaching Gambling Retards

I am starting to realize that many people don't quite understand what a luck graph is... so I will do my best to explain it. Glossary:

Profits: how much money you are actually up/down

Expected Winnings: how much money you "should" be up/down

Luck: the difference between profits and expecting winnings

That is to say there is no way to tell how I am actually doing from a luck graph (as most of you know I don't care to discuss my actual finances on this blog). It nearly shows the difference between what I should be up/down and what I actually am up/down. For example I could have had even expected winnings, but be down 73k from bad luck... or I could have had 73k in expected winnings and be even in profits from -73k in luck... or I could have had positive 500k in expected winnings, but only be up 427k because of -73k in luck. I hope this clears up a few things for the gambling inept out there.